LES MISERABLES METALAW:
All laws, whether good, bad or indifferent, must be obeyed to the letter.

PERSIG'S POSTULATE:
The number of rational hypotheses that can explain any given phenomenon is infinite.

LILLY'S METALAW:
All laws are simulations of reality.

THE ULTIMATE PRINCIPLE:
By definition, when you are investigating the unknown you can not know what you will find.

COOPER'S METALAW:
A proliferation of new laws creates a proliferation of new loopholes.

COLE'S LAW:
Thinly sliced cabbage.


WALLACE'S OBSERVATION:
Everything is in a state of utter dishevelment.

HARTLEY'S FIRST LAW:
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you've got something.

WEAVER'S LAW:
When several reporters share a cab on an assignment, the reporter in the front seat pays for all.
Doyle's Corollary:
No matter how many reporters share a cab, and no matter who pays , each puts the full fare on his own expense account.

JOHNSON'S SECOND LAW:
If, in the course of several months, only three worthwhile social events take place, they will all fall on the same evening.

MATSCH'S LAW:
It is better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.

JACQUIN'S POSTULATE ON DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT:
No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

FOWLER'S NOTE:
The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race.

TERMAN'S LAW OF INNOVATION:
If you want a track team to win the high jump, you find one person that can jump seven feet, not seven people who can jump one foot.

TRISCHMANN'S PARADOX:
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

BUCY'S LAW:
Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

CHURCHILL'S COMMENTARY ON MAN:
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on unfazed.

HALDANE'S LAW:
The universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it's stranger than we CAN imagine.

KERR-MARTIN LAW:
1. In dealing with their own problems, faculty members are the most extreme conservatives.
2. In dealing with other people's problems, they are the most extreme liberals.

LAW OF OBSERVATION:
1. Nothing looks as good close up as it does from far away.
OR-
2. Nothing looks as good from far away as it does from close up.

THE AQUINAS AXIOM:
What the gods get away with, the cows don't

NEWTON'S LITTLE-KNOWN SEVENTH LAW:
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

WHITE'S CHAPPAQUIDICK THEOREM:
The sooner and in more detail you announce the bad news, the better.