HELLER'S LAW:
The first myth of management is that it exists.
Johnson's Corollary:
Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organization.

THE PETER PRINCIPLE:
In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
Corollaries:
1. In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out those duties.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

PETER'S INVERSION:
Internal consistency is valued more the efficient service.

PETER'S HIDDEN POSTULATE ACCORDING TO GODIN:
Every employee begins at his level of competence.

PETER'S OBSERVATION:
Super-competence is more objectionable than incompetence.

PETER'S LAW OF EVOLUTION:
Competence always contains the seed of incompetence.

PETER'S RULE FOR CREATIVE INCOMPETENCE:
Create the impression that you have already reached your level of incompetence.

PETER'S LAW OF SUBSTITUTION:
Look after the molehills and the mountains will look after themselves.

PETER'S THEOREM:
Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.

PETER'S PROGNOSIS:
Spend sufficient time in confirming the need and the need will disappear.

PETER'S PLACEBO:
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

GODIN'S LAW
Generalizedness of incompetence is directly proportional to highestness in hierarchy.

FREMAN'S RULE:
Circumstances can force a generalized incompetent to become competent, at least in a specialized field.

VAIL'S AXIOM:
In any human enterprise, work seeks the lowest hierarchical level.

IMHOFF'S LAW:
The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank- the really big chunks always rise to the top.

PARKINSON'S THIRD LAW:
Expansion means complexity and complexity decays.

PARKINSON'S FOURTH LAW:
The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.

PARKINSON'S FIFTH LAW:
If there is a way to delay an important decision, the good bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.

PARKINSON'S AXIOMS:
1. An official wants to multiply subordinates, not rivals.
2. Officials make work for each other.

SOCIOLOGY'S IRON LAW OF OLIGARCHY:
In every organized activity, no matter the sphere, a small number will become the oligarchical leaders and the others will follow.

OESER'S LAW:
There is a tendency for the person in the most powerful position in an organization to spend all of his or her time serving on committees and signing letters.

CORNUELLE'S LAW:
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.

ZYMURGY'S LAW OF VOLUNTEER LABOR:
People are always available for work in the past tense.

LAWS OF COMMUNICATION:
The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.

DOW'S LAW:
In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.

BUNUEL'S LAW:
Overdoing things is harmful in all cases, even when it comes to efficiency.

SPARK'S TEN RUELS FOR THE PROJECT MANAGER:
1. Strive to look tremendously important.
2. Attempt to be seen with important people.
3. Speak with authority; however, only expound on the obvious and proven facts.
4. Don't engage in arguments, but if cornered, ask an irrelevant question and lean back with a satisfied grin while your opponent tries to figure out what's going on- then quickly change the subject.
5. Listen intently while others are arguing the problem. Pounce on a trite statement and bury them with it.
6. If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as if he has lost his senses. When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him.
7. Obtain a brilliant assignment, but keep out of sight and out of the limelight.
8. Walk at a fast pace when out of the office- this keeps questions from subordinates and superiors at a minimum.
9. Always keep the office door closed. This puts the visitor on the defensive and also makes it look like you are always in an important conference.
10. Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."

TRUTHS OF MANAGEMENT:
1. Think before you act; it's not your money.
2. All good management is the expression of one great idea.
3. No executive devotes effort to proving himself wrong.
4. If sophisticated calculations are needed to justify an action, don't do it.

JAY'S FIRST LAW OF LEADERSHIP:
Changing things is central to leadership, and changing them before anyone else is creativeness.

WORKERS DILEMMA:
1. No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
2. What you don't do is always more important than what you did.

MATCH'S MAXIM:
A fool in a high station is like a man on top of a high mountain; everything appears small to him and he appears small to everyone else.

IRON LAW OF DISTRIBUTION:
Them that has, gets.

H.L.MENCKEN'S LAW:
Those who can- do.
Those who cannot- teach.
Martin's Extension:
Those who cannot teach- administrate.

THE ARMY AXIOM:
Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

JONES'S LAW:
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

FIRST LAW OF SOCIO-ECONOMICS:
In a hierarchical system, the rate of pay for a given task increases in inverse ratio to the unpleasantness and difficulty of the task.

HARRIS'S LAMENT:
All of the good ones are taken.


PUTT'S LAW:
Technology is dominated by two types of people:
Those who understand what they do not manage.
Those who manage what they do not understand.