BOOKER'S LAW:
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.

KLIPSTEIN'S LAWS:
Applied to General Engineering:
1. A patent application will be preceded by one week by a similar application made by an independent worker.
2. Firmness of delivery dates is inversely proportional to the tightness of the schedule.
3. Dimensions will always be expressed in the least usable term. Velocity, for example, will be expressed in furlongs per fortnight.
4. Any wire cut to length will be too short.

Applied to Prototyping and Production:
1. Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty to assemble.
2. If a project requires 'n' components, there will be 'n-1' components in stock.
3. A motor will rotate in the wrong direction.
4. A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.
5. A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
6. A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
7. A purchased unit or component will meet it's specs long enough and only long enough, to pass incoming inspection.
8. After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
9. After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been omitted.
10. After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found on the workbench.

TOUCHSTONE'S NEGATION OF KLIPSTEIN'S NINTH LAW:
The sixteenth mounting screw will become stripped, broken off or lost.

THE RECOMMENDED PRACTICES COMMITTEE OF THE INTERNATIONAL SOCIETY OF PHILOSOPHICAL ENGINEERS' UNIVERSAL LAWS FOR NAÏVE ENGINEERS:

1. In any calculation, any error which can creep in will do so.
2. Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of most harm.
3. In any formula, constants ( especially those obtained from engineering handbooks ) are to be treated as variables.
4. The best approximation of service conditions in the laboratory will not begin to meet those conditions encountered in actual service.
5. The most vital dimension on any plan or drawing stands the greatest chance of being omitted.
6. If only one bid can be secured on any project, the price will be unreasonable.
7. If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent production units will malfunction.
8. All delivery promises must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0 .
9. Major changes in construction will always be requested after fabrication is nearly completed.
10. Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
11. Interchangeable parts won't.
12. Manufacturer's specifications of performance must be multiplied by a factor of 0.5.
13. Salespeople's claims for performance should be multiplied by a factor of 0.25 .
14. Installation and Operating Instructions shipped with the device will be promptly discarded by the Receiving Department.
15. Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible.
16. Service Conditions as given on specifications will be exceeded.
17. If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault.
18. Identical units which test in an identical fashion will not behave in an identical fashion in the field.
19. If, in engineering practice, a safety factor is set through service experience at an ultimate value, an ingenious idiot will promptly calculate a method to exceed said safety factor.
20. Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.

ATWOOD'S FOURTEENTH COROLLARY:
No books are lost by lending except those you particularly wanted to keep.

JOHNSON'S THIRD LAW:
If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue which contained the article, story or installment you were most anxious to read.
Corollary:
All of your friends either missed it, lost it or threw it out.

HARPER'S MAGAZINE'S LAW:
You never find an article until you replace it.

RICHARD'S COMPLIMENTARY RULES OF OWNERSHIP:
1. If you keep anything long enough you can throw it away.
2. If you throw something away, you will need it as soon as it is no longer accessible.

GLATUM'S LAW OF MARETIALISTIC ACQUISITIVENESS:
The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to it's actual usefulness once bought and paid for.

LEWIS'S LAW:
No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

PERLSWEIG'S LAW:
People who can least afford to pay rent, pay rent.
People who can most afford to pay rent, build equity.

LAWS OF GARDENING:
1. Other people's tools work only in other people's gardens.
2. Fancy gizmos don't work.
3. If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
4. You get the most of what you need the least

McCLAUGHRY'S LAWS OF ZONING:
1. Where zoning is not needed, it will work perfectly.
2. Where it is needed desperately, it always breaks down.

THE AIRPLANE LAW:
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you need to transfer to is on time.

FIRST LAW OF BICYCLING:
No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.

FIRST LAW OF BRIDGE:
It's always the partner's fault.

RULE OF FELINE FRUSTRATION:
When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

KITMAN'S LAW: 
Pure drivel tends to drive off the TV screen ordinary drivel.

JOHNSON AND LAIRD'S LAW:
Toothaches tend to start on Saturday night.

ETORRE'S OBSERVATION:
The other line moves faster.

BOOB'S LAW:
You always find something the last place you look.